I don't know what I'm typing...I don't know why...I 've found myself absolutely bored and typing with my eyes close...which will explain any typing mistakes.....I'm soo confused..I don't know whether to be crying or to be happy...I just don't now. I've tried taking breaths as a wise person once otld me...like uhhmm idk how many hours ago bc my eyes are closed lol neways the whole taking a few breathes thingy helped me fele better but, stil didn't help that much...I mean it didn't calm me down. I feel like urling up in a ball and crying but, I'm confused...shouldn't I be happy that my aunt will be living with God? I just wish she had more time...I don't want her to go yet. Ohmygosh, listen to me! She hasn't even died yet and here I am talking as if she had. I'm losing it....that's all gotta say...losing it bad. My mom was on her way home and then my grandma called mom telling her she couldn't tell grandpa what the doctors said bc she's worried it will give him another heart attack..he's already survived two..but, mom said he has to know & so she went back to their house & I'm worried....I just wish this wasn't happening because even though we weren't really 'close'...I can't stand to see so many people hurting. I know where she's going but, my family does not. They don't believe in the things I do..no matter how hard I try..so I've resorted to just trying my best and hoping my decisions and actions will help wake them up and I pray for them but, that's all I really can do. I'm just....sooooooooo confused... *ok time to open eyes..(funny noises outside)lol* & I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say to them...I don't know what I'm going to say the next time I see my aunt..What do you say to someone who could die at any moment? Should you be normal? Should you never leave their side? I don't know....All I can do is pray. My God is awesome!! This is all apart of His plan!
Steph Alderson
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