I'm sitting here...waiting my turn for the shower...fun, fun. I'm so confused...about things...Lol I'm confused. I love my God, he is an awesome God!!:) I love this life he has gave me & I can't wait to follow his plan & live my life for the Lord. I am ready to challenge myself in everyway necessary to become closer to God, a better Christian, & to follow God's plan. I'm not scared...I'm nervous that I might fail but, not scared. What I'm confused about..is kind of hard to explain. It's a feeling I get when I'm around people. Lol Like not just talking but, when they like stay over and stuff and well, anyways....I just get so antisocial..I run out of things to say. I can't stand it when people stay over bc I feel trapped. Trapped as in not knowing what to say..when someone says something I feel is wrong, I feel the need to say something. Mother says it's rude. I say I don't care. You tell me you sneak out on your parents to smoke weed..I tell you what I think about it. I also tell you that if you even dare do it in my house, I'll call Jimmy Dorney before ya can even says stop. I don't believe in those things and well, lately I've been very strong about what I believe in. Like I said, I feel trapped. Not just when people stay over but, at home..at school..I feel like I should be somewhere else..not sure where yet..but, I just feel like I'm staying in a tiny box when the Lord wants me to go to a bigger box...a huge box. I really don't know what to do. I'm lost. I can't move out. I mean, I probably could make arrangements but, that's also not who I am. I am not going to just leave my family like that. I love my family & even know I plan on moving out of the state I'm in as soon as possible, isn't because of my parents..it's bc I feel I need to get out of this state. I've suggested a few states but, I don't know where I'm going..just not here..I feel God wants me somewhere else than here. I don't know..Like I said, I feel trapped. & I don't have the key yet but, I know the Lord will help me through this...it's just a part of his plan..My God is an awesome God!! So, if I'm going to feel trapped....I'm going to feel trapped in a good way..not sure how yet but, I will someday. I will just work to all of my ability....:)
My God is an awesome God!!!!!:)
Steph Alderson
TheBombDiggity! <3
I'm Out.
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