:D

Well, I'm confused but, still glad I have God in my life. because I had the oppurtunity to do things last night that could've screwed up my life but, I was smart enough not to and I listened to God instead of Satan. & I really don't see why satan loves be so cruel to me...what did i ever do to the nasty serpent? ha. For loving God?? I'm NOT sorry satan..did your mommy not love you when you were a wittle baybay so now you have to hate everyone...Wahhh WAhhh WAhh!! Haven't you learned..that no matter what you've been through..you have no excuse to hate or treat everyone cruel?? Oh well, maybe someday you will but until then...STAY OUTTA MY LIFE!!!!!!!!! That is all I have to say to you.

& to God, I love You so super duper much!!:)

Well, Steph Alderson is Outt.:):):)
My GOD IS AMAZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIINGGGGG!!!:)

Woahh Woahh Woahhh:)

Steph Alderson had a wonderful day at the dentist...Hahaha..Note my sarcasm!!:D Dentist appointments are never fun....but, had fun w/ grandma....I swear that ladys trying to make me fat though!!! She makes food...too good!:P

Anyways, this chick had a wonderful day...despite being irritated for being called a liar. If there is one freaking thing I don't do..it's to lie. I'm honest...sometimes too honest and if you don't believe me..guess what!!!..I HONESTLY don't care.:) Anyways, apparently I post facebook statuses talking smack about muh momma..hahahaha I don't!!! Yeah, I might gripe about some things on here but, not on facebook and not about my mom. Besides, the woman is friends with me on facebook! If I talked smackk about her she'd see it. Grr. & then I was accused of other things. Lol Anyways, just so ya know Steph Alderson is not dishonest...she's bluntly honest..unless, I have to lie..like not by choice..ya know what I mean.

Anyways, I hope I get 2 go to open gym 2morrow bc I need muh practice!! but, it's all up to whether Kels goes or not..If she can take me than I get to..if she can't then I'm stuck home.:(

Oh and those who want to know how my dentist appointment went..I have 1 cavity..bleghh:\ I do all this brushing my teeth and I still getta cavity..Blehh stupid toot 31..:P LOL:)

Well, I'ma gett offa here bc this chick wants some gummy worms!!:)


MY GOD IS THE MOST SUPER DUPER AWESOME WONDERFUL AMAZING SMART TALENTED HEALING PROTECTING SUPERTASTIC....FACE IT MY GOD IS THE ONLY GOD..MY GOD IS REAL...& I LOVE MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:):):):):):):):)

Steph Alderson....the bomb diggity..the ninja chuck norris...the stupid blonde kid..shanaenae...is Outt!!!!:D

:):):):)

Well, I did as I said I would and I feel a lot better!:) I actually went outside today to do something besides practicing basketball!!:) Hahaha Ya know, God is amazing...I don't care what you think honestly and I probably never will..:) I finally made satan leave me alone!!!:) So he can just go jump offa cliff like I said in one of my other notes. I feel great..ofcourse who wouldn't? God loves you! & God loves me!:) Why wouldn't we be glad??? :)

wow...It's amazing how that can make you feel!!!:)

Well,
Steph Alderson is Out..:)

:):):)

"I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life, It’s like I just stepped outside, When everything was going right And I know just why you could not Come along with me This was not your dream, But you always believed in me!" ♥

I have recently realized that I'm letting satan win. I've gave up, I've quite, I've said yes to the things I should've said no to and vice versa. I know all I have to do is pray for forgiveness...but, I feel like it's just gunna happen again. I'm going to start running. I'm going to start swimming. & I'm going to get lost once again. My wall keeps tumbling down everytime I try to rebuild it but, I have to stay strong & get through this. I'm tired of people asking me what's wrong..I don't want to burden people with my thoughts,worries,fear, or anything really. Plus, once you tell one person..the whole world knows. It's just how things are. Drama & gossip is never going to go away. There are too much people who don't care anymore and I think I'm on that path if not already there. I don't like where I'm going. I want to pray for forgiveness. I want to start over...but, I'm to the point where I feel it's too late. I've read the Bible, I know it's not too late..but, what you know and what you feel are 2 completely different things. Right now, I'm trying to keep my self sane..but, I feel I'm not succeeding. I type these blogs because after a while...thinking isn't enough. & I've thought way too much lately. It's ok because once I stop being a freaking idiot and pray for forgiveness and truly mean it..everything will be good unless I keep falling for satans trap which I have done a lot lately! So here I am..sitting at home trapped in my patheticness. but, I will rejoice and be glad. I will pray for forgiveness & I will do it now.

My God is amazing! He loves me, even know I'm an idiot. & I love Him too!:)

Steph Alderson Is Outt.:)

Home- Blake Shelton

Home-Blake Shelton.

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another airplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home


And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
This was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
And I wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I'm coming back home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home



Steph Alderson iz out.

C0nfuzzzionn!

Well, I've learned that I really don't know who I've become. I know who I used to be. I know what I used to think but, the thoughts that have been running through my head..they don't seem like mine. Okay, I'm not trying to sound like a freak..What I mean is that I am thinking the things...they just aint same things I used to think & I don't like it. I don't why I can't hold it together. I smile so that people will leave me alone and shutup and stop asking me questions and it's worked quite well these past few months but...how is it helping me any? Holding it all in behind a smile? I've always been told that when the going gets rough..smile. & so I try to and I really don't understand that statement anymore..It all seems unreal right now. I don't want to do anything, go anywhere...If I'm not laying on my bed sleeping, I'm in a different world..Yeah I do what my parents say and I work around the house but, the whole time I'm just counting down how long it'll be until I can sleep again. They say the first step to recovery is admitting it..well, I admitted it..I've tried to change it but, it aint working..and I don't like to give up so I will keep praying and fighting satan who seems to really want to bring me down and destroy me right now......but, I got Jesus's Blood Running through my veins so satan can go jump offa cliff and leave me alone.

My God is truly awesome!
Steph Alderson is Outt. Literally.

A little hill in the road race of life......

You're running...increasing your pace by the second..knowing that as long as you run you don't have to face reality. Also knowing, that the moment you stop reality will smack you right in the face...So you keep running saying yes just to get people to leave you alone so you can run.....& when you get out of breath and you stop for a drink and instead of love you drink sin. Sound familiar? Instead of being on fire with God's love..you're on fire with satans sin?

You're swimming..you never want to get out you keep going on and on until you realize your stuck under the water..you can't get out...you realize that instead of enjoying everything God gave us..you gave your heart to one thing..whether it's swimming,running,food,some idiot guy, etc. You gave your heart away...to the wrong person,place,or thing. When ya shoulda gave it to God! You shouldn't of been distracted...but, no you kept "running"..you kept "swimming"..you just kept on with your sin not caring the pain your causing for yourself and others. but, you don't care because all you'll have to do is say sorry after ya do it right? Haha. I guess ya could but, is it the right thing to do? You soon realize you have this headache...then you realize...this headache aint gunna go away on it's own. So you pray but, do you really mean it? Why do we always ask God for stuff and never thank him for what He's done and is still doing? We only go to him when we're in trouble..& even know God forgives..I still don't think it's right....I mean God created us..we never thank him..we never tell him how thankful we are...we just ask for protection, help, etc. without ever saying 'thank you'..

I've been that runner running from everything..and that swimmer staying in the water instead of doing what I should've done. & well, it's not fun..you don't realize who all you hurt..how bad you treated God..or anything until it feels like it's too late but, it's not..Yeah, you probably lost a couple of friends but, were they really that good of friends if they took advantage of you when you were depressed or ran away? I don't know..when I find out all of the answers to these questions..I'd be more than happy to share them but, right now I'm rebuilding my wall..the wall I worked so hard to build..but, I miss placed that one brick and it all came tumbling down...This post is mainly for me..if ya know what I mean..than great...atleast I won't be the only person feeling insane beyond belief....Another statement I'd like to make..is it's great to be building your own wall with your own bricks..but, it's nice when someone helps you build that wall and shares there bricks..by that I mean a friend..a friend that stayed with you through thick and thin,never took advantage of you in anyway,and if they thought they did they apologized repeatedly, a friend who you know prays for you and loves you, a friend who told you what they thought about you instead of telling everyone else..It's great to have a friend like that..even if you feel you don't deserve them. I was blessed with 3. & a loving family. Reality has smacked me right in the face. Church camp was amazing and honestly, I rather go back and stay there because..there wasn't as much distractions there..there wasn't that bad friend and satan that tried to destroy your wall and so on but, oh well. Church is amazing & I love my awesome God!:) He's done so much and he's forgave me yet again....I don't know why he'd want to but, He did & that is why I conclude this blog that has probably bore you to death..even know I could care less...with one statement which, is actually a fact. God is AWESOME!!:)

Steph Alderson is Outt. <3 <3 <3 :):):)